The Modern Luddite

Now before I go any further, I should point out that this is about shaving the face, nowhere else on the body. If anyone has any experience of a Modern Luddite shave in more personal areas, please leave a comment or drop me an email. Just because I don’t know anything about it there’s no reason not to spread the good news.

In case it’s relevant, I am a white gentleman with dark hair, and I don’t currently have a full beard, although I could probably grow one. If I shave carelessly I develop “razor rash” very easily, and so I’ve long experimented with various shaving techniques. Recently I was delighted to find that I could reduce the extortionate amount of cash I was spending on shaving equipment, reduce my razor rash, and still get a decent shave. In summary, here’s the solution that worked for me:

1. Buy a “safety” razor, the screw-together type that takes those paper-thin, scarily-sharp razor blades.
2. Erm, buy some razor blades too. Make sure they fit the razor.
3. Don’t use any shaving cream/foam/gel/oil - oh no no no.
4. Shave in or immediately after a shower.
5. Keep your skin hot and wet, but rinse the razor in cold water.
6. Splash cold water on your face, pat dry with a towel, and rub in a dab of moisturiser.

For those of you who wish to know the details and try this for yourself, here you go:

Buy a safety razor and some razor blades

It seems that all razor manufacturers are cramming their hideously expensive, nasty, tacky “shaving systems” with increasing numbers of sliver-thin blades. Where will it end? Who knows, but it won’t be cheap. The things just get more and more expensive. And now they vibrate! Call me a fool if you must, but the last time I bought a luridly-coloured vibrating plastic tube, it sure didn’t have razor blades stuck to it. These little plastic cash-cows are designed for the blurry-minded hungover sap who has forgotten that he’s dragging sharp metal across his face. Shaving isn’t like in the adverts. You can’t whip hair-splittingly-sharp metal blades over the stubbly contours of a human chin at speed without showering the bathroom sink in claret. You need to take your time.

A safety razor is the don. The daddy. It’s the mac daddy. It’s the daddy-don-mac-daddy of razors (unless we’re counting cut-throats, which in many respects are even better - more on them below). And you can pick them up spanking new for under £5. A plastic job from the supermarket will do fine, and you’re likely to find the razor blades that fit it right next to it. Handy. If you trawl the high-street (or the Web) for an up-market job, something made of brass and stainless steel no doubt, then you just have to make sure you can get a regular supply of blades. But this website is about reducing cost as well as technological dependence, so personally I went for the plastic number, and it’s done me proud for a couple of years now.

A bonus aspect of using steel razor blades is that you can recycle them. I keep an old metal can in the bathroom cupboard, and drop my old blades in there after use. One it’s full I crimp the ends over so the little sharp buggers can’t escape, and pop the lot in the recycling. Sweet.

Don’t use any shaving cream/foam/oil/gel etc.

For the slightly paranoid take on this, read the Shaving Cream Racket. I can’t say I truly believe that there’s a deliberate multi-million dollar conspiracy, but shaving foam and all its ilk are a waste of time. I’ve tried them all: trendy shaving gel, indie-style shaving oil, bristle-brush and foamy soap, various creams and froths… and I’ve given up on the lot. It truly surprised me to find that I just don’t need them, and I really thought I did. Give it a whirl, just try it. The first two or three times might be tricky, but eventually you’ll find you can shave perfectly well without, and not just in a “making-do” kind of way. I seriously get less razor burn these days.

Shave in or immediately after a hot shower

Yes it is possible to shave in the shower without a mirror. Your fingertips are very effective at locating unshaven areas. Plus you can of course just tidy up with the aid of a mirror when you step out. If you really want a mirror, take a small one in there with you. I’ve attached one of those shaving mirrors with an extending bracket to the bathroom wall so I can pull it through the shower curtain if I need it. However, in the true spirit of this website, my preferred method is to shave immediately after taking a shower. That way I’m not wasting money on heating hot water just to have it keep my chin warm - regardless how delicious that may be.

Keep your skin hot and wet, but rinse the razor in cold water

I don’t know why this works, or even if it truly makes any difference, but try rinsing the razor in cold water. Some people say that washing the blade in hot water makes it expand slightly and become kinked, and this can cause an uneven shave and razor-burn. Sounds like mumbo to me. But rinsing the blade in cold water definitely seems to make shaving less painful and more effective. If I shave in the shower, I take a mug full of cold water in there with me, and use that to rinse the blades.

Skin should be kept hot and wet. Use a flannel, a great Luddite stalwart. Soak it in hot water and scrub and soak your chin with it before shaving. Repeat when your face is getting dry or cool.

Splash cold water on your face, pat dry with a towel, and rub in a dab of moisturiser

Cold water soothes the skin after all that scraping. Patting dry is apparently better than rubbing, although it seems slightly metrosexual to me, as does using moisturiser. But the moisturiser seems to soothe the skin even more, at least for me, so give it a go. And none of that fancy expensive stuff, simple cheapo Vaseline Intensive Care does the job. Be sure not to use standard Vaseline jelly, unless you know what you’re doing.

Improvements?

The one improvement that immediately springs to mind would be to use a cut-throat razor instead of the straight razor. The cut-throat is a real Luddite’s alternative to the gimmicky guff of modern shaving. However, I’ve read that they are petrifyingly fiddly to use, especially to begin with, and so I have elected to avoid them, at least for now.

And that’s it. The Modern Luddite’s remedy for expensive, painful shaving is to chuck all that modern crap in the bin and do it how real men used to do it.

Get shaving!

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